The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter (The Swedish Art of Living & Dying Series)

If you’re downsizing decades of treasures like I’m doing, you will find this unusual book extremely comforting. There’s all kinds of websites and books out there on downsizing, but I found this to be the best thing I’ve ever read - it acknowledges how much we love our beautiful things and how nice it is to pass them down to other people who will enjoy them. It’s helped me a lot as I’ve lived in my beautiful, too-large home for 51 years. I’m slowly giving my treasures to much younger people, like friends of my adult children.

First and foremost, I love that it's a small book, an easy read. The author tells her life story along with offering helpful content. Death is hard to talk about and planning for death can be hard as well. The author conveys the importance of taking care of your personal belongings while you are still alive for a number of reasons. Your things will not be a burden on your loved ones. Often we have it set in our minds that our family members want things that we value, when in essence those things may only be of value to us. Getting more out of your twilight years instead of caring for "things." The author speaks of giving up her beloved garden. When she moved into a smaller apartment, she had the option to garden in a smaller space and was able to share the space with others, cutting down on the work that she had to do. The grieving process is hard enough, let alone having to deal with getting rid of a loved one's belongings, selling their home, finding a new home for their pets, etc. It was a thoughtful book written in a very light-hearted manner. It's the perfect gift for older loved ones. It can help to strike up an uncomfortable conversation with aging parents. I highly recommend it!

Over the past few years I’ve been lecturing to the genealogy community on the topic of what to do with years of family history research and how to pass it on to the next generation. In my own book After You’re Gone: Future Proofing Your Genealogy Research, I review many simple techniques for cleaning out a loved one’s home in order to gather important family history items. So when it was announced that The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margaret Magnusson was being released, the book went to the top of my “must read” list. And I wasn’t disappointed. So what makes Magnusson’s slim but effective tome different than any one of the other “get organized” books out there? Hers is done with humor and humility and from the perspective that one day each of us will be gone from this earth. And who wants to be remember by their family and friends as a packrat? Or as someone who lived in a house where the camera crew from Hoarders was just outside the window? As the author states in the foreward: “Let me help make your loved ones’ memories of you nice—instead of awful.” What is Death Cleaning? The Swedish term döstädning literally means “death cleaning” in English. And as the author states, “it is a term that means that you remove unnecessary things and make your home nice and orderly when you think the time is coming closer for you to leave the planet.” Simple, right? Actually not as simple as you think. I’ve gone through two major “clean outs” of homes in the past 10 years, and I can tell you that each situation is different and each clean out takes lots of time. Magnusson cuts through the sentimentality that can often bog us down when we set out to do a “purge” of possessions. The author bluntly reminds you that if you are sitting on items that you haven’t looked at in years, would you really miss them? And what is the real value of these items? And more importantly, what legacy are you leaving for your children or grandchildren? Death cleaning according to Magnusson is “about a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly.” So this isn’t just for those of us in our twilight years . . . anyone who feels burdened by their possessions can benefit from the sage advice found in The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. Practice Advice Delivered with Humor Magnusson is “somewhere between 80 and 100 years old” as she states in the About the Author section and much of her advice is based on real experience. She cleaned out her mother’s apartment as well as her mother-in-law’s apartment after their deaths. And she downsized her own large home to fit into a two-bedroom apartment when her own husband died. One touching segment, for me, was when the author discussed finding notes from her mother pinned to specific items. Each note contained advice as to how to dispose of the item and who to contact since they might be interested. This practice provided peace of mind to Magnusson as she sorted through her mother’s possessions. And the funniest segments dealt with finding what the author calls “vice” items such as a block of arsenic (which her father kept on hand during World War II when the Nazis took over much of Europe) or cartons of cigarettes in her grandmother’s linen cabinet where she would sneak a smoke. Magnusson advises that if you have items tucked away that would cause embarrassment or discomfort when found by your loved ones, dispose of them. Or, in the case of a loved one’s collection of “marriage counselors”” keep your favorite one, not all fifteen. Not All Advice Works for Genealogists and Family Historians While I agree with the author on her basic approach to handling family photos and other sentimental items – set them aside to review later and don’t get bogged down in a walk down memory lane or you’ll never accomplish the cleaning – I strongly disagree with some ways of handling these items. Throwing away duplicate photos or images that are out of focus etc. is great, I don’t agree in disposing of photos just because you can’t identify anyone in the picture. As genealogists we know that we have resources to help figure out who is who and when the image was taken even if there are no notes written on the back. In addition, when it comes to salacious stories, letters and diaries, she writes: “Perhaps you have saved letters, documents, or diaries that contain information or family stories you would never wish to embarrass your descendants with. While we seem to live in a culture where everyone thinks they have the right to every secret, I do not agree. If you think the secret will cause your loved ones harm or unhappiness, then make sure to destroy them. Make a bonfire or shove them into the hungry shredder.” Again, I have to disagree. As a family historian my role is to uncover the truth, and then to preserve the truth. There are better ways of handling this type of information: one method I use is to preserve the information, place it into an envelope with instructions on how to handle it (such as release after all living individuals identified in the story have passed), and then store the item with estate planning and other important papers. This way my executor can decide how to handle the items, but they aren’t burned on the trash heap. The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning – A Great Gift There are several books that I occasionally send to friends and family members, and even colleagues, as a thank you or when they are going through a difficult time in life. If you have parents who should be downsizing, or know a friend who just lost their spouse and needs to go through possessions, the calming advice in The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning can help remove the sting from such a process. I’m adding this one to my list of my “gifting” books. Conclusion One of the most important pieces of advice from Magnusson, besides performing your own death cleaning NOW, is to discuss the topic with your family members and friends. She notes the Viking tradition of burying objects with the owner when they died: “This was to be sure that the dead would not miss anything in their new environment. It was also an assurance for the family members who remained that they would not become obsessed with spirits of the dead and constantly be reminded of them because their possessions were still scattered all over the tent or mud hut.” I enjoyed reading The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margaret Magnusson and I intend to put much of the information to good use in 2018 as I downsize my home here in Chicago. One of the main themes in Magnusson’s work is one of generosity: giving away those possessions that have outlived their usefulness in your life and gift them to someone else in need of their functionality. Doing so reminds me of the motto on Peter Bailey’s office wall in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life: “All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.”

Many helpful comments for those nearing retirement age

This book is full of the author's personal stories and anecdotes. It is less of a how-to book than I was expecting. I was looking for more advice. Pretty much the only real advice or thought-provoking stuff in there you can get by just Googling the book and reading descriptions of it. I would have given it two stars, except I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for people who perhaps haven't already thought as much about the topic as I have, and who maybe have a lot more stuff. In fact, I read this book and frequently thought "Wow, she still has THAT?"

Such a fun read! Lots of detailed tips.

A must read book for seekers of simple life, self dependent planners.

A lovely Swedish lady, aged ‘between 80 and 100’. Her gentle and timely advice is perfect for those who wish to not leave too much trouble to others when they die. The book is not about death! It reminds us that all our stuff can hold us back from enjoying life, it can paralyse us. Not many of us are as wise or as accepting of what is, as this author.

Bellissime illustrazioni, contenuti interessanti. La lettura è molto rilassante. Consigliatissimo soprattutto per la stagione autunnale e invernale, le cui atmosfere sono evocate e valorizzate nel testo.

This book was really helpful and sensible, as well as amusing - and not at all morbid.

A small, practical guide for decluttering and leaving less job behind.