The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships

When you realize how human we all are and how many mistakes we make on the path to perfection you can see why learning to forgive is a huge social skill for maintaining relationships that are worthwhile! Learning to apologize is a whole other level in this book and you will benefit greatly from learning to be that humble. I remember one time I wrote an apology email and that helped start up a friendship again. I have also printed out real apology letters and sent them to people. That saved relationships with relatives too. Mostly I'd say I apologize for being unforgiving at the start. Then I seem to come around to that idea later and rebuild the failing relationship. I would say that when you offer forgiveness it is mostly for your benefit but can also take the weight off someone else's shoulders. I don't believe the author is correct in saying you don't need to forgive unless someone apologizes. Jesus stated to forgive time and time again. I can promise you I've forgiven people who have never apologized to me and it has benefited me greatly and freed me from worry and stress. To not forgive someone is almost unbearable after a while because your conscience will hassle you over and over again until you give in. Jesus definitely stated that God would not forgive you if you do not forgive others. So it is like one of the most serious things ever! So yes, this book is essential reading for anyone who has relationships that they value greatly. So many people are stuck in cycles of unforgiveness and some are unwilling to ask for forgiveness too. Really the whole process is freeing for everyone involved and shows there is hope even in the worst of situations. Perhaps the highlight of this book is the part about forgiving yourself. How we all need to hear that!!!! I think sometimes we learn our greatest lessons when we forgive or ask for forgiveness! I am so grateful to authors for writing books like this that genuinely assist people to live a much more fulfilling life! I am happy I've been able to say I'm sorry and have forgiven those who have wronged me in the past. You will never regret reading this book. In fact it could change your whole life!!!! The irony is that while reading this book I had to forgive someone for what they did to me the day I read this book. In fact I had the time to read this book because of what they did. :) ~The Rebecca Review

Loved this addition to the Love Languages series. Helpful, insightful and practical.

This was a really good book! It was easy to read and didn't spend much time rambling just to hit a higher word count. There were a lot of extremely helpful insights and it helped me realize what I already do well and where I need to make improvements in my apologies. I had never thought of the fact that people have different apology languages, but it seems pretty obvious in retrospect! The only downsides to the book are more a matter of preference. I'm not a Christian, but I think most of the arguments would have been just as powerful in a completely secular context. The only argument that hinged on Christianity is the idea that we are not obligated to forgive someone who does not apologize. Lastly, if you're learning to apologize so that you can get back in the good graces of someone that you wronged, be aware that she needs to be able to accept the apology and forgive you. Just because you apologize doesn't mean she'll take you back. Although it's worth a shot because she's amazing and I love her.

A great book! Highly recommend it for newlyweds and couples who need a little help!

One of the best books for a couple who wants to have a healthy relationship to read. This companions with the 5 love languages, and I think is pivotal for someone who wants to be a conflict resolutionist and work on having healthy relationships with not only those close, but also those at work and in social spheres.

A therapist recommended this to us. So, I got this for my husband. I can't say how well it has worked, but he did read it. Like any relationship we have rough patches, we don't listen to each other or we don't communicate. I know my husband doesn't like getting relationship books, because it means we have to do work on ourselves. So, in that strange way, this book helps.

I enjoyed reading this book. Gary and Jennifer did a great job of compartmentalizing the various ways people tend to apologize. I gained new awareness about myself, which also fostered some healing.

Excellent books - given them many times for gifts

It is a good book. Well written, with good examples and illustrations.

Really insightful; this book masterfully combines professional expertise, real-life examples, and explanations after each example. What went wrong, how could it be made right, and what methods it took to get there, are some of the recurrent questions answered throughout the book. More certainly than not, you will find yourself reflected in at least one of these situations. At least once, you may reach a moment of self realisation as you read the book. I will attach a few pictures for reference. As markers, I use wax Bible markers bought off amazon, as they don't bleed through to the other page. And yes, we haven't invested enough in emotional intelligence, we do know too little about it, and this book helps fill in that gap. Enjoy.

A good analogy on the skills of communicating with family and friends without the current overwhelming diatribe of everyone being a victim. The book places responsibility on each person to act in deference to self in order serve , help and encourage others yet leaving self wholesome, at peace and matured . The high calling of serving others cannot be compared to the deprecating focus on self which is never satisfied and eventually consumes self, feeding anxiety frustration and anger

Got it for my mum She loved it

I think my main problem with the five apology languages is my same issue with the five love languages. It’s silly to think one is sufficient when all are important. In the apology examples they give in the book, they almost always include multiple (at least three) different types of apologies. All are essential so the idea of finding one that works best makes no sense. The author refers to using additional apology languages as “icing on the cake”. If they add to the apology, why would you not add all components? By the end of the book, he’s suggesting you add all five languages. So it’s more about 5 essential steps in an apology than about different apology languages. Also, it is heavily religious which is not my cup of tea. I think the book is difficult to read as a non-Christian as it frequently quotes the bible and says you need to ask God for forgiveness/strength etc. Also immediately gave up the book completely when the example was given of a man hitting his wife and broke her jaw. She forgave him. This is NOT something you should forgive and move past. The book also says children who have run way from home to live on the streets, should choose to apologize to their parents. Personally, I think if the child has run away, there’s probably a strong reason. Also… they’re children. Perhaps we should be looking at the parents and not putting the onus on children. A direct quote “To be sure, those who were abused by parents needed also to receive an apology. But that was not likely to happen unless they initiated the process.” So even abused children should first apologize to their parents? Honestly what a disgusting view point. The book also gives an example of a woman who was abused as a young girl by her father. Naturally, she apologized to him!? The author even goes on to speculate that if young men and woman learned to apologize, they wouldn’t have broken relationships, and therefore not ended up on the street. Another direct quote “Eventually, there was no one to whom they could turn, so they turned to the streets. I have often wondered how different things might have been had someone taught these men and women to apologize.” Overall, a highly self righteous and offensive book.