i have a very high waist are these going to fit high enough?

It depends on high your waist is, it is for medium high waists or you could give them a try one time and see. If they go up high enough.

Will the xxl fit? i am a bigger girl and usually wear a 3x (or a 10-12 in underwear; i'm about 300lbs, most of it in my belly).

I wear 11 underwear, apple shape, 280, xxl is a little to big. I make them work by wearing underwear over them. I'm going to try xl. I use these for overnight heavy periods.

Are they shipped in a regular Amazon box or does it say what they are on outside? I have noisy neighbors.

Noisy neighbors are the worst! Sorry, had to say that. The box is the regular Amazon box - nothing on the outside to suggest the contents.

Do you wear these along with pads or by itself?

If you use a heavy pad also you don’t always have to change pants (if traveling, shopping etc.) works great. Better than undressing to change every time if you are wearing long pants ( Levi’s, capris etc.)

ASIN	B00NAK8VAS
Age Range (Description)	Adult
Age Range Description	Adult
Brand	Always Discreet
Customer Reviews	4.4 out of 5 stars 1,609 Reviews
Global Trade Identification Number	00037000887362
Incontinence Protector Size	Small to Medium
Incontinence Protector Type	Adult Incontinence Underwear
Item Dimensions	28 x 15.5 x 20 Centimeters
Item Weight	850 Grams
Lining Description	Polyester
Manufacturer	Procter & Gamble Health C
Material	Gel
Number of Items	19
Package Type Name	Box
Pattern	Solid
Recommended Uses For Product	Adult Diapers
Reusability	Disposable
Size	small/medium
Target Audience	Women-Adults
UPC	037000887362
Weight Range	100 -190 lbs

Always Discreet Adult Incontinence Underwear for Women and Postpartum Underwear, SmallMedium, Up to 100 Bladder Leak Protection, 19 Count.

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