Sociopath: A Memoir
J**L
Fascinating story & meditation on life with feelings we do not want - but is it entirely true?
I was riveted by this book, and read it from cover to cover in a few days. Despite some of the caveats I mention below, I believe this is worthy of 5 stars and is well worth reading.Summary: Very briefly, the book is the author's life story about growing up as a sociopath. As the book describes, sociopaths have some capacity for emotions such as empathy and love, but it is far more muted than most people's. The story tells of the author's journey to understand and accept herself. I found the story very entertaining and an easy read.Why should you read this book?- The book takes you into the mind of a sociopath, and it is fascinating to see the world through a viewpoint that is radically different than one's own. It also shows provides a reframe of a word with a very negative connotation.- For those who have sociopathy, this may be a chance to read a book that helps you understand yourself, and provides words for your reality.- Most significantly for me, the book is a deep exploration of what life is like when our inner emotions do not align with what we believe we should be doing. This is a topic that I believe almost all people can relate to. Whether it is someone who struggles with addiction, deals with compulsive behaviors, has a temper or loses control in any way, we are dealing with a reality where our own behaviors are not aligned with how we believe we should be behaving. This is incredibly common, and yet, the conversations about this reality and the challenges it creates, including the practical impact of these behaviors on ourselves and others, but also the emotional and psychological impact of feeling as if we are not in control and we are not living up to who we want to be, can be enormously damaging. And yet, we rarely talk about this. Most people do not have the vocabulary to explore this or communicate about this. And this is something that the book provides. And a reason I believe it is a very important read even in light of my later comments.Is it for children: The content and book length are probably not suitable for very young children. For those who are considering it for children and want to know about the content, it has a bit of violence and talks extensively about breaking the law. There is some language. Sex is barely mentioned.Is it Real: There are times in the book where it felt to me as if the story and revelations 'fit together' a bit too well and this made me wonder about whether aspects of the story were fabricated. The author notes in the beginning that some characters are composites, and throughout the book, provides insight into her grappling with telling the truth. I (of course) do not know whether the story is basically true, or if aspects are not. I am also not nearly enough of an expert to know whether the understanding of sociopaths as portrayed in the book is in line with modern research.Even with this said, I highly recommend reading this book. It is thought-provoking and entertaining and easy to read.
A**S
calling all mental health helpers
Great read if you’re interested in learning more about sociopathy. The personal perspective is interesting and genuine. You’ll likely learn a lot.
A**1
Fascinating, and has attributes of good fiction
The psychological makeup of sociopaths is so interesting not only because they are different, but because their qualities, in some contexts, are positive. “People go to yoga and spend thousands of dollars on meditation classes to learn how to let go and feel nothing. But I get to do it every day. For free.” This book is well written, possibly with much editorial assistance, and has attributes of much good fiction: a complex character who evolves, and is not always consistent. It is rich in incident and offers psychological insight, primarily about sociopaths, but also about cognitive therapy and borderline personality disorder. At the same time, the author’s behavior and thought can occasionally be tiresome because of repetitiveness, but this is not a big problem. Patric cites a prominent psychologist who distinguished between primary emotions and learned emotions: “anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy” are primary; “empathy, guilt, shame, remorse, jealousy, even love” are learned. As Patric says, sociopaths have “an emotional learning disability”. Patric has to work hard not only to learn, but to accept her difference. Patric is not as fearful nor as trusting as most people. SPOILER ALERT. When Patric meets her future husband at age 14 (he is 4 years older) he is very accepting of her. When they are in an adult relationship, it requires couples therapy before he can accept her, even her evolved self, and not see her as damaged. It is apparently only in college that Patric learns to mimic other people’s emotions and make “friends”. She later becomes freer in telling people she is a sociopath, but they can project onto her what is convenient for them to think this means and even to justify their own behavior, especially in the music business where she works for some years. I was a bit surprised at how long it took, with all the research and therapy and self-improvement, for Patric to consistently accept herself. I did find it humorous that Patric physically avenged her preschooler, without causing the other kid much hurt and so that it looked like an accident.
R**B
Interesting book
It is a pretty good memoir, not the best O have read but interesting.
A**R
This Book was God-sent! Excellent Information and Great Writing!
This book completely changed my views on Sociopathy, and helped me understand my adult daughter, who is a non-empath. As my daughter became a teen, she pulled away from me, and would never let me inside her mindset, or discuss why she was so distant, or why she hated to be touched, or preferred to be anti-social and not make friends. No matter how I tried to connect with her, she stayed aloof from me, and would not express herself. By the time she was in her early twenties (she is now in her late twenties), she finally let me know she was a non-empath, which helped explain why she was emotionally distant. It was Ms. Patric's story that helped open my eyes to understanding my daughter's disposition in a way I had never been able to do before. Her book absolutely helped me "get" why my daughter could not feel empathy, guilt, or remorse. Because of Ms. Patric's book, I was able to stand in my daughter's shoes, so to speak, and comprehend what my daughter experienced every day growing up, with not being able to relate to her emotional (empath) mother and father, and why those differences kept us apart. I had failed to understand my daughter before, but this book provided me with the tools to "see" her and accept her!
C**X
Good info
This was an interesting read for an inside perspective from someone who is sociopathic. of course it is a memoir it is not a textbook
E**K
This is a Dangerous Book
We have finally started making some headway on helping people identify personality disorders in order to protect themselves from entering into a relationship of inevitable harm, and this book works to set all of that progress backwards. I can tell you that if she does in fact have a Antisocial Personality Disorder diagnosis it is dubious at best. For most people this would be good news, but since this person for some reason wants to be considered a sociopath she may not appreciate how implausible the premise of this book is, and only those who have never experienced sociopathic abuse would begin to believe it. The reason I call it dangerous is because it gives a very false idea of what a sociopath is, and makes it seem like they are regular people who are capable of being a loving person, friend and even parent. If your life has been impacted by even one sociopath you will see the problem with this book from the first page. Thankfully, I had time to read it and return it for a refund. Worse than garbage, it is propaganda.
I**A
Promotes Understanding
I have the checklists of Cleckley and Hale because a sociopath has touched my life. However, this autobiography promotes understanding of sociopathy in a way that the checklists don't. Thank you to the author for having the courage to write it.
P**G
A very likable sociopath
Patric's memoir works as an autobiography and a very easy to read primer on sociopathy.It isn't at all lurid. It gives a well written incredible insight into an often misunderstood and aligned trait. It does this with great authenticity and dignity.This book deserves its bestseller status, I'd love to read more by this author.
C**I
LOVE LOVE LOVE
If you've purchased this book, you are in for a treat.Fascinating, firsthand insight into the mind of a psychopath.Love it so far and im only a few chapters in!
J**S
Fascinating
Patric’s honesty and insights into sociopathy was so enlightening. I am left with many questions about the condition even so. Why was socially bad behaviour needed to alleviate the stress? Why not extreme ‘good’ like rock climbing, sky diving any ‘extreme sport? Patric is a very strong person and so lucky to have David in her life. Her memoir will definitely challenge your perceptions of sociopathy!
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