Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

In “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Coleman justifies the importance of emotional intelligence (or E.I.) in all areas of life. To help us understand what is happening when emotions occur, the book begins with an explanation of emotions and neural circuitry. As Coleman goes further into the topic, we learn why emotional literacy is extremely valuable in our love, family and work lives. Most importantly, this book offers helpful approaches on how to improve one’s emotional aptitude and fix negative emotions. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology, well-being, or personal development. Likewise, I believe that this book would be extremely useful for emotional personalities who are affected by chronic anger, anxiety, or depression, and who are looking to improve themselves by better-understanding their emotions and learning how to handle them. My brief takeaways from the book: What Is E.I.? Coleman discusses emotional intelligence as one’s ability to identify, understand, and handle emotions in oneself and in others. There are two aspects to E.I.: internal and external. Internally, competencies include self-awareness, self-management, impulse control, mood regulation and more. Externally, E.I. relates to empathy, social awareness and the capacity to manage emotions in others. The Brain Coleman explains how emotions are highly dependent upon one’s neural circuitry; in particular, the balance between her “feeling” amygdala and “thinking” prefrontal cortex. The amygdala is the part of the brain that triggers emotional impulses and fight-or-flight responses. The prefrontal cortex is the emotional damper that inhibits impulses while simultaneously facilitating attention and working memory. An amygdala overwhelmed by emotion and unable to be regulated by one’s prefrontal cortex can trigger what Coleman calls “neural hijackings”. Neural hijackings contribute highly to emotional deficiencies such as anxiety, anger and depression. A portion of one’s neural circuitry is genetic, but Coleman argues that temperament is not destiny. The brain is continuously shaped throughout a lifetime due to its neuroplasticity. The Emotions Emotions are physiological responses of the brain. Good moods and emotions help us stay motivated, optimistic, resilient, and resourceful. They contribute towards an ideal state or flow and facilitate our ability to think flexibly and associatively. “Laughing, like elation, seems to help people think more broadly and associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded them otherwise…” On the other hand, negative emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression can drastically impede our working memory, intellect and performance. “Emotional Intelligence” focuses on the most common negative emotions: anger, anxiety, and depression. Each of these emotions is a different type of emotional hijacking on the brain. Coleman discusses, in detail, the treatment for such concerns. In short, solutions include methods such as self-awareness, cognitive reframing, and distraction techniques to fight toxic trains of thought before they ruminate further. “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose in the right way – that is not easy.” In The Real World A significant portion of “Emotional Intelligence” discusses the effects of emotionally illiteracy on the most important areas of our lives: relationships, family, work, school, and health. These chapters include numerous studies and examples on how emotional competencies affect one’s ability to be an effective manager, teammate, spouse and parent. Most importantly, emotional states play a significant role in one’s physical and mental health. Coleman discusses the correlation of negative emotional states, such as stress and depression, with one’s susceptibility to (and ability to recover from) disease. For example, social isolation can affect mortality rates as much as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity! E.I > I.Q. “Those who are at the mercy of impulse – who lack self-control – lack a moral deficiency: The ability to control impulse is the base of will and character.” Without discounting the fact that I.Q. is indeed important, especially for lower-rung technical jobs, Coleman debates that E.I. contributes significantly more to one’s overall success and quality of life, especially in “soft” domains such as health, love and relationships. In a family, it’s E.I., not I.Q., that influences how long a marriage lasts or how a child handles adversity. At the workplace, everyone at the top of the ladder is already filtered by technical expertise. So it is E.I. that helps the best and most effective leaders stand out. From a societal standpoint, an emotionally intelligent community will breed a moral culture where decisions are influenced by empathy and moral instincts as opposed to uncontrollable impulses. “Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil – or opportunity – life’s vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities. Ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traits – some might call it character – that also matters immensely for our personal destiny” If you've found this summary interesting. You should definitely go deeper into this lovely, informational book!

Amazing book that changed my view on humans and life Daniel Goleman was one of the motives to name my son Daniel

You know the feeling--your spouse says something that strikes you the wrong way, and involuntarily you tense up. You can almost feel your blood pressure rise. Without thinking, you respond emotionally, and soon what may have been intended as an innocuous comment has sparked a full-fledged marital battle that may leave as its aftermath lingering feelings of anger and resentment. In Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman describes the physiological processes that drive and are driven by emotion and their purpose, the ability of emotions to hijack rational thought and the short- and long-term physiological and psychological effects, and the personal and social benefits of teaching and learning how to manage the emotions. In the opening chapters, Goleman discusses in simplified terms the complex interactions of the brain when emotion-causing stimuli are perceived, with the emotional mind reacting more quickly than the rational. For example, the sight of a snake may start the fight-or-flight response; the structures of the emotional brain prime the body to strike out at the snake or to flee from it. Then, after the body is tensed, the rational mind notices that it is a harmless garter snake. The efficiency of the brain circuitry, along with its emotional memory and associative abilities, helps to explain the power of the emotions. Citing research, Goleman suggests that the ability to recognize and manage emotions and emotional response, primarily learned from parents, family, friends, school, and the community, is a greater indicator of success in relationships, work, and society than intelligence tests. It is not necessarily how well you learn or what you know, but indeed how well you play with others. Goleman covers a variety of topics: depression, mania, anxiety, PTSD, drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, relationship issues, abuse, and others. For example, a feeling of sadness can be transformed in the brain into a lingering mood and ultimately into a full-blown clinical depression. He shows how emotional intelligence can be used to control the brain's circuitry so that pathological conditions like depression, mania, and PTSD can be managed or at least controlled. Citing an increase worldwide in indicators of emotional and social problems, Goleman focuses on children and the importance of pilot programs that teach such skills as empathy, assertiveness without aggression, self-awareness and self-control, conflict resolution, and so forth. He discusses several studies that show measurable, long-term benefits of such programs, and the negative results when children do not have the opportunity to learn these skills at home, at school, on the playground, or in the community. Goleman does not always seem trustworthy. His description of the 1963 "Career Girl" murders, intended to illustrate an emotional hijacking, does not match other accounts in key areas. He also leaves out facts, such as that several knives were used, instead saying that the killer "slashed and stabbed them over and over with a kitchen knife." He does not mention the sexual assaults in "those few minutes of rage unleashed." The crime he depicts fits his picture of an emotional hijacking, but other accounts show it to have been a more deliberate crime of longer duration. In a section on empathy, he says that one-year-olds "still seem confused over what to do about [another child's tears]," citing an instance where a "one-year-old brought his own mother over to comfort the crying friend, ignoring the friend's mother, who was also in the room." There is no confusion here, but a logical, pre-verbal assumption: "My mother is comforting to me when I am upset; therefore, she will be comforting to you, too." This kind of thinking is not limited to one-year-olds; for example, how many times has a friend recommended an action movie or horror novel to you, saying that you will "love it," even though your known preference is historical romance or another completely different genre? Even adults assume that "what works for me will work for you." Goleman also discusses school bullies and outcasts in detail. He places so much emphasis on the probability that their peers are reacting to their lack of emotional intelligence that he misses some important exceptions and nuances, such as children who are social outcasts for socioeconomic and racist reasons or because they are nonconformist individualists, in which cases it is the other children who display a lack of empathy and emotional intelligence. On the flip side, there are children (and adults) who are not empathetic or emotionally intelligent but who are well liked, even popular, for other reasons, tangible and intangible (e.g., socioeconomic status, influence, some mysterious force of personality or charisma). Many successful, popular people exhibit little emotional intelligence, which Goleman could have addressed. In addition, while Goleman cites a wealth of research supporting his arguments, he does not present any dissenting opinions, or whether any exist. This weakens his presentation. Emotional Intelligence is an insightful, enlightening look at how awareness of the emotions and their physiology can help us to manage them when they affect our lives negatively or when they become pathological (e.g., depression). I found the book to be a practical guide to recognizing when I am reacting rather than listening to others or hearing them correctly. It has helped me to cope with colleagues who are lacking in emotional intelligence and to give them subtle guidance. While most of Emotional Intelligence is intuitive to a perceptive mind, the book serves as a guide and reminder that even a little emotional intelligence can make relationships, situations, and life more positive, more productive, and less stressful.

I don't usually find myself buying or reading books labeled "Self-Help." Not that I don't like myself, or consider myself unworthy of help--or beyond the realm of needing help--but I find the books labeled and marketed this way to be largely vapid and boring. This was not the case with Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence. This is a thoughtful, sober, and careful analysis of specific issues related to character formation and the steady slide of young people in society into a situation of being incapable of articulating, let alone controlling, their passions--as they would have been called in the 18th century--and directing their attentions and efforts in pursuits likely to lead to productive, healthy, and contented lives. What could be more urgent and important? The book details interesting scientific discoveries, data from studies and experiments, and intelligent and non-pedantic descriptions of complex phenomenon with ease. While offering ideas for solutions, Goleman is never so obnoxious as to pretend that providing training in emotional intelligence to young people will solve all of society's ills. In an age of mass shootings, youth nihilism and despair, and generations lacking the ability to toss their phones aside and pay attention to something for more than two minutes, focusing on a way to drive home the usefulness and almost unlimited upside of character formation (which Goleman concedes is actually what he's talking about at the end) seems a tremendous imperative. While the book begins with philosophy--where the answers ultimately lay--Goleman hopes to avoid that field by keeping the majority of the book in the hard(ish) sciences. However, if he wishes to succeed in reforming education along the conservative/classical (though thoroughly secular and traditionally liberal) lines he proposes here, he will need to get a bit more explicitly philosophical. There, I fear he will collapse into a heap of utilitarianism and collectivism and squander the good that this book hints towards and wishes to promise.

Most of our lives we have been focued on IQ. Schools ranked us according to GPA, the SAT and the ACT determines what schools students get in. We have come to assume that IQ is the most important determinant for success. But as we learn from Goleman, IQ accounts for approximate 20% of ones success in life and business. The major determinants are social and emotional intelligence. In his own words, the book is "A guide to making sense of the senseless. It is a guide in a journey through these scientific insights into the emotions ..." The reason you should read the book can be summed up in these words. "People with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focued work and clear thought." Stess is one of the major underlying causes of illness. Stress is an emotional disease. We need to understand our emotions and control our emotions, thereby reducing the stress in our lives. The book is not the easiest to read. It is long and highly complex. However that is no reason not to read the book. There is wonderful insight into why we do the things we do. It is certainly helpful to understand how and why our emotional brain can hijack our rational brain. We need to bring our feelings into our conscious awareness. The most telling information concerns the direct link between the lack of emotional intelligence and our growing social problems. The link is clear and unquestionable. There is great hope in formal classes in emotional education. The benefits far outweigh the cost. However it is still not clearly understood and has only been implemented on a very smalll scale. After reading this book, I am convinced that developing our emotional intelligence is at the heart of curing much of our social ills. Although it is not for leisure reading, it is important and anyone concerned with improving themselves, their ability to manage and improve relationships should read this book.

I really like this book. Perhaps some may say that much of what is in here is obvious or well known but to hear this in one place makes it that much better...perhaps. However, there are plenty of examples, scenarios that really made me think and ponder. I can not tell you how many times I would read this and would call to mind situations in which I knew brilliant people who did not have the emotional skills (read social skills) or acumen and could not move beyond the operational levels of their jobs or businesses. I can tell you it confirmed some of what I suspected and gave me perspectives I didn't realize were important or didn't realize at all. In this regard, I can say that I have tried to focus on other people's wants and empathize more since reading this. It's amazing what showing just a little bit of empathy can do towards breaking down barriers between and among people. In fact, I have a cousin who has a son who does quite well academically. I don't know his son well. However, I can say I did well academically, and I was a bit awkward socially for a long time. I wish I had had someone teaching me that the concepts in this book and helped me to develop what Dr. Goleman talks about. Getting back to my cousin's son, I told my cousin about this book. I told him to start early to relate and educate the young man regarding these concepts. Perhaps they come easy. Perhaps he already knows them innately. Dr. Goleman demonstrates that some people know this stuff innately. However, to those of us to whom this is not obvious, this book and these concepts are invaluable. I only want my cousin's son to have the head start on the social and emotional front I wish I would have had. The concepts and ideas are what is missing from education.

Another book on “amygdala”, the earlier one I read being – “A whole new mind” by Daniel Pink (it is quite a surprise that both the authors happen to have a common first name !!) in which it was extolled that the Right brain is going to rule in the future. While that had some few references to amygdala, Daniel makes a very generous reference to amygdala all through out the book. The main difference between the two books is that while Mr. Pink was thrusting on the emotional brain going to be determiner of future survival, Mr. Goleman laments that the current and future generation is fast losing the essential of handling anger – and there is no attempt to teach empathy, impulse control or any other fundamentals of emotional competence. He further stresses that emotional distress can create deficits in childs intellectual abilities , crippling the capacity to learn. Thus, a high IQ does not correlate to a successful life, unless it is matched by a substantial high EQ. All through out the life, one is stressed with handling relationships – parents, siblings, spouse, children and a team at workplace. Thus it is easy to resonate with the concept that life is about handling relationship, which as per Mr. Goleman is about being able to manage the emotions in someone else. My grouse on the book is that for a large part , it read as more of common sensical (just that there was some link to amygdala throughout). For instance, the art of critique as quoted from Harry Levinson – be specific, be present, be sensitive , and be solution oriented – is quite plain jane for anyone who has done a few rounds of appraisal of their team. One new learning was the revelation that connection exists between brain and the immune system, thus further strengthening that emotions do matter for health and low emotional health would mean frequent affliction of cold !! No wonder people living in arctics are quite healthy. The approach to handling PSTD was also interesting. Another interesting fact was that while smoking increased the mortality risk by a factor of 1.6, social isolation does so by a factor of 2.0. While the book does talk of some schools (Schooling the Emotions ) which work on the EQ part, the relevant question are also asked alongwith – are the teachers themselves confortable talking about emotions and where does one find time in the tough curriculum to fit this in. So, this is the Catch 22 – EQ is critical, but the IQ needs cut into the time for building EQ. The situation gets complicated by the fact that the Emotional schooling is more needed outside the schools – at home, cafeteria, playgrounds etc. Thus, while this book does a good job of drawing out attention to an urgent need to teach the most essential skills of life to every child , however, there are not many new insights coming out. I would go with three stars on this. My preference is clearly towards “A whole new mind” by Daniel Pink, with due apologies to Mr. Goleman

Great book to read

The font of the letters are too small to read...unfortunately

É um livro fundamental para a vida de todos nós. Não é um best-seller de autoajuda, mas uma reflexão profunda, assertiva e baseada em pesquisas com rigor científico conduzidas por décadas. É uma leitura transformadora à medida que abre nossos olhos para verdades pouco difundidas ou completamente negligenciadas sobre inteligência emocional, cuja ausência propicia a maior parte dos problemas de relacionamento, de segurança e de saúde nas nossas sociedades contemporâneas.

When first released, the author was a pioneer in this field. Therefore, to those who consciously or unconsciously already make use of their emotional intelligence in various everyday situations, this book may seem to state the obvious. However, if like me, you're interested in unbundling the skillset and understanding it better, then you'll find this book of real interest. As many other reviewers have said this is not a guide to developing Emotional Intelligence, nor a self help book to help you in desire. Goleman sheds light on our life and our different ways of thinking. This book explores how Emotional Intelligence is a key factor in determining personal as well as professional success. The author explains how individuals who are able to tap into self-awareness, self-discipline and empathy are usually happier, healthier and more successful with personal and professional relationships than individuals who are unwilling or unable to learn what motivates people.

A very enlightening read. Enjoying learning from this book.

Amazon bu kadar güvenilir olduğunu bilmezdim, gerçekten beklentimden daha güvenilir çikti. Ben şimdilik 2tane kitap şiparış ettim ikisi eksiksiz elde ettim ve çok memnun kaldım